As someone with a hyperactive mind and a pretty resistant ego at times, I often find it challenging to rest in the present moment.
Perhaps you can relate to experiencing thoughts rampaging through your mind from the moment you wake up?
How many times have you experienced thoughts filled with guilt-inducing stories of what you haven’t done and what needs to be done? What about thoughts of comparison, fear and worry? When was the last time you shamed yourself for getting up late, staying up late, eating something ‘unhealthy’ or spending too much time on social media?
You're not alone!
These are the kinds of thoughts that arise from the fear based ego and we often allow them to control how we live day to day. Our ego sees problems that need to be changed and fixed. So the more we judge, condemn and dismiss ourselves, the louder the voice of our ego becomes and we get caught in repeating patterns of self-doubt, low sense-of-self and self-worth and low self-esteem.
I've have a lot of these experiences this past week!
The ultimate goal of the practices I teach is to soften the ego, so we can find gratitude and compassion for everything and everyone, including ourselves.
I’ve learned that journaling can be an incredible practice for this. Because the ego is analytical, the process of writing helps appease the ego’s need for recognition and attention.
Take my morning practice for example. Each morning after I wake up, I give my ego the opportunity to spill out onto the page. I allow the reflections of the past and present to have a voice without judgement. Writing whatever comes to my mind.
In doing so, I allow my ego to feel seen and heard. After which, I sense a softening of my ego’s grip and I can enter into meditation from a more centred place. Finding more ease in the present with less resistance.
Some of you might already know this practice as Julia Cameron's Morning Pages.
Just like yoga, meditation and my other spiritual rituals, journaling has become part of my daily practice for cultivating deeper self-awareness, self-compassion, self-trust and self-esteem.
I began my daily journaling practices when London went into lockdown in March 2020. It was a catalytic moment in time for many and I was in the midst of some big and challenging life transformations. I was feeling lost, stuck, confused and lonely. I began journaling because I wanted to speak what was in my heart without the incessant voice of my inner-critics silencing my voice.
What I learned at the beginning of my journaling journey is the power of putting pen to paper. We can have powerful and meaningful conversations with ourselves when we remove judgement and self-doubt. When we allow our emotions to flow into words or images.
I discovered that my journal was a safe space to open up the parts of myself that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. The parts I’d suppressed to stay ‘strong’ and ‘resilient’ in challenging times.
Each of my different journaling methods helps me in different ways to process emotions, find more clarity, get un-stuck, access my creativity, make new discoveries and soften my ego.
To me, the practice of journaling is a skill we can all learn to support us in connecting with the hidden parts of ourselves that will help us find our authentic voice and self expression.
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